Memoirs of Fr. Joseph Guo Fude, S.V.D., a Centenarian: A Life of Following Christ
Date: August 19, 2017
Source: Catholic Evangelization Group
Memoirs of Fr. Joseph Guo Fude, S.V.D., a Centenarian Divine Word Missionary: A Life of Following
Time: 2017-08-19
Source: Catholic Evangelization Group
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1. Family Background
I was born on February 1, 1920, in Beiyi Village, Xuecheng Town, Zaozhuang City. My father, Guo Wenkai, was a zealous Catholic and worked for many years for the Church in Xuecheng. He once served as principal of the Catholic Sanyu Primary School and as president of that parish. I lost my mother at the age of eight, leaving my second younger brother Fuxing (then only 8 months old). In order to nurse and raise him, my father spared no cost to find a wet nurse to feed him and bring him up to adulthood. At that time, for the livelihood of the whole family, my father had no choice but to remarry, finding Wang Mali from the Yanzhou Orphanage to be my stepmother, and later my third younger brother Fulin was born (now deceased).
2. Enlightenment Period
When I was eight years old (1928), my father sent me to the Catholic Sanyu Primary School. In addition to ordinary subjects, I also studied catechism and participated daily in the public activities of the Church (morning and evening prayers, attending Mass). Under the meticulous care of my stepmother, I completed four years of lower primary and two years of upper primary education. At that time, under the guidance of Fr. P. Thamm, pastor of Lincheng parish, after graduating from primary school at the age of 13, I resolutely entered the Yanzhou Oder Minor Seminary.
3. Seminary Life During the Liberation Period
In 1933 the seminary began enrollment. This good news reached my home, and my relatives all encouraged me: go and try, we will pray for you. My father sent me to the Yanzhou Oder Minor Seminary to take the examination. The whole family prayed for me. God indeed granted the family’s wish, and I was admitted.
At that time the rector of the seminary was Fu Shi Gong, the vice-rector Zhang Weidu. The teaching system of the seminary, according to the requirements of the Education Bureau at that time, hired graduates of Fu Jen Catholic University in Beijing—Liu Dazhou, Liu Hongxun, Zhang Qingfu and others—as teachers. The textbooks were the same as those of outside middle schools, and in addition catechism and Latin were added. In the seminary, I did not study very diligently; my grades were neither high nor low, but I managed to pass. I never quarreled with others, nor fought with anyone, so life was very pleasant. However, good flowers do not bloom forever, good times do not last long. The gunshots of the “July 7 Incident” sounded; the guns of Japanese imperialist aggressors fired. The Japanese army launched a massive attack on North China. In mid-September, the Nationalist army retreated, and the Japanese invaders broke into Yanzhou city. At that time I was at the window of the third floor of the seminary building and saw many peasants holding the “plaster flag” welcoming the Japanese army, which made me extremely distressed, beyond description in words; tears burst from my eyes. From then on, the anti-Japanese patriotic movement of the seminary teachers and students began.
Under the leadership of Vice-Rector Zhang Weidu and with fervent patriotic education, all the teachers and students of Oder Seminary, more than 150 people, because of the “German-Japanese Alliance,” at that time Bishop Shu Delu and the hiring of a Japanese priest actually brazenly held the so-called “German-Japanese East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere” reactionary organization on our sacred territory (within Yanzhou city). All the teachers and students of Oder Seminary were united as one. Although we had no rights in our hands, we protested to them by means of “strike” and “hunger strike,” launching a patriotic movement. The result temporarily curbed the crimes of German hostile elements running rampant, but in the end Bishop Shu Delu transferred Vice-Rector Zhang Weidu to Yihe as pastor, and we teachers and students could only cry injustice and end unwillingly.
4. Life at the Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Daizhuang
After graduating from high school at the Yanzhou Minor Seminary, I entered the Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Daizhuang, Jining, in September 1941 to study philosophy. At that time the famous philosophy professor Fr. P. Czetch taught philosophy. At the same time we also studied Scripture and German and other courses. After graduating from two years of philosophy, I entered the theology class. At that time there were 33 classmates, but in the end only three of us were ordained. We lived in the building south of the present Daizhuang church. Theology was taught by Fr. P. Natter; textbooks, lectures, oral examinations, and written examinations were all in Latin.
On May 17, 1945, at that time the Nationalist Party occupied Jining city, and the Red Army was very active around the outskirts. On the night of the 17th, the Red Army attacked Daizhuang; its purpose was to seize the German “Bayer” medicine in Daizhuang for wounded soldiers. That night Daizhuang was surrounded on all sides and heavily guarded. The foreigners were gathered in one place; their residences and pharmacy were searched thoroughly, and all medicines were taken away. That same night the foreign priests and nuns were taken to the Liangcheng area of Weishan County. During their search and inspection, the superior of the Society of the Divine Word, Fr. P. Hüttermam, actually rang the big bell in front of the church on his own initiative to wake the sleeping confreres to hide, but the Red Army mistakenly believed that Fr. Xu was signaling the Nationalist troops in Jining city, therefore they shot him directly outside the church gate. After hearing the gunshots we saw guards preventing us from going out, but after the Red Army left I personally saw Fr. Xu lying dead in a pool of blood. Because the foreign professors of the seminary were all taken away, the seminary was forced to suspend classes, and each temporarily returned home.
The detained priests returned to Daizhuang several months later. On September 1, 1945, the seminary resumed classes. Until April 13, 1947, together with the other two classmates Liu Renping (Xinxiang) and Dong Xiaoqian (Heze), I was ordained a priest in the Yanzhou cathedral. After ordination, I taught for one year at Chongde Primary School in Yanzhou. At that time Qi Maode and Shi Linge also taught there. Until September 1, 1948, I went to Shanghai to enter the novitiate of the Society of the Divine Word, fulfilling my long-cherished wish. Entering together were Zhong Weijie, Liu Renping, Xue Dexiu and myself, four of us. Fr. P. Hümmer was our novice master, temporarily residing in the Shanghai Xujiahui Seminary. At that time, because of the turbulent situation and the Red Army about to cross the Yangtze southward, by order of superiors the novitiate was immediately moved to Manila, Philippines. We arrived by plane the same day and continued our spiritual courses, living together with the local novices. Until September 8, 1950, I made my first vows in Manila. After that we once went to Baguio in northern Manila to spend one week escaping the summer heat. On December 3, by order, we returned to China, temporarily staying at Shandao Hall, No. 709 Julu Road, Xujiahui, Shanghai, practicing spiritual life and learning sock-knitting skills for a whole year in preparation for future livelihood needs.
5. In Xuzhou Fushui Well Catholic Church
From 1951 to 1957 I served as assistant pastor at Fushui Well parish. It was the time when the Anti-Imperialist Patriotic Movement reached its climax. In Xuzhou a movement arose opposing Bishop Tai Yitou. During the movement the Xuzhou Religious Affairs Bureau invited me to Shanghai to attend the denunciation and struggle meeting against Bishop Gong Pinmei. The government bought my train ticket and delivered it to my home urging me to depart. But I believed this was a violation of Church law and utterly against conscience, and I firmly refused to participate. For this I used tending sheep and selling milk as excuses to avoid going to Shanghai to attend the struggle meeting. In addition, any male or female Catholics in Xuzhou who participated in the Three-Self Reform Patriotic Movement, I stopped each of them from exercising spiritual functions, expelled them from Church membership, and forbade them to receive the sacraments.
Summarizing the above matters, until in 1958 the government held a “heart-to-heart movement” meeting at the Second Guesthouse of Mayi Bridge in Jining City. I was struggled against by the masses and labeled an extreme rightist. In addition, when I was assistant pastor in Daizhuang I went everywhere preaching the Gospel and administering the sacraments, such as to Jiaxiang Guomiao, Jiaofang, Fangdaogou, Shenlou and other places, evangelizing very frequently. Therefore, on December 23, 1959, two days before Christmas, more than one hundred public security officers from Jining City went to the west courtyard of Daizhuang Church and arrested me, escorting me to Mopanshan Prison. Because I did not confess guilt and submit to the law, the government made me “sit in a small cell” (1.4 meters high, 1 meter wide, 1.7 meters long), never seeing daylight all day, alone, reflecting on my “faults,” forcing me to confess and submit to the law. But I stubbornly refused to admit, and as a result I stayed there eight and a half years.
6. Prison Life
What is called a prisoner is one whose life has no freedom; speech and action are not free. Generally speaking, apart from the freedom to breathe the air, there is not the slightest other freedom.
We prisoners are like robots: whatever button others press, that machine moves accordingly; we are not allowed to utter even half a sentence. We are ordered to sit on the kang like wooden puppets, legs pressed together, eyes fixed straight on the wall, hands resting on the knees. Armed police stand guard on both sides of the corridor. We cannot even take care of our own bodily needs, so urinating and defecating in our trousers happens frequently. When one needs to relieve oneself, one must first report it; only after approval may one go. If it is not approved, one must endure wetting or soiling one’s trousers. Therefore the prison is filled with a stench that reaches the heavens.
All day long we do not see the light of day. Every few days we are let out once for “airing” (that is, to relieve ourselves). During this time, if one cannot squat down properly, one must immediately stand up and return to the cell. This is the “humanitarianism” of the revolution.
The prisoners’ daily life consists of three meals a day in prison, each time only boiled water to drink. Some drink eight bowls of boiled water just to fill their stomachs. Then each person is given two liang of biscuits (that is, dried sweet potato).
In such absence of sunlight, each day one can only pray silently in one’s heart. My daily prayers could only be replaced by three rosaries, because when we entered the prison we were completely searched clean; clothing buttons, shoelaces, belts, and any other items were all confiscated. Thus in prison I could only use my fingers to count the Rosary.
According to the rules of the Church, when praying at least the lips should move in reciting the Rosary. But when I was reciting the Rosary, the prison guard saw my lips moving and immediately called me to the window, demanding that I confess what activity I was engaged in. I answered: “I am very honest; I have not moved.” He asked again: “Then why are your lips moving?” I replied: “I have had this habit since childhood.”
The armed police said: “You are talking nonsense. You were clearly there reciting incantations. If you are not honest, I will punish you by making you stand for two hours. If you do not admit your fault, the next shift will immediately punish you with another two hours of standing.”
Thus I was put in handcuffs several times.
In my heart I thought: O God, how should I be fervent and reverent toward You? Grant me strength, that I may overcome all evil spirits and obtain Your assistance.
7. Interrogations in Prison:
All prisoners who enter the prison must first undergo “interrogation.” The prisoner is interrogated: What crime have you committed? Why have you entered prison? The purpose is to make the prisoner voluntarily confess guilt and submit to the law, in preparation for sentencing.
Each time I was taken for interrogation, those who questioned me came in groups of three or five, and the personnel were frequently changed. But every time I was interrogated, my reply was always the same: I only admitted that I went to Manila in order to enter the novitiate of the Society of the Divine Word; I had no other political purpose whatsoever. Time and again they interrogated me, and my answer was always the same. Therefore the interrogators postponed my case again and again. Sometimes three or five months would pass without a single interrogation. Each reply of mine was identical, stereotyped.
At times they used the “wheel battle” tactic: after eating and drinking their fill, they would take turns day and night to interrogate me, employing a fatigue strategy against the prisoner, hoping that in exhaustion he would disclose the truth. But I consistently restated the objective fact — that I had entered the novitiate.
They usually employed both soft and hard methods. Sometimes they used sweet words; sometimes they used severe punishment and intimidation. There was nothing they would not do to lure one into the trap. But I always adhered to the truth and maintained an attitude of seeking facts from reality. I was not frightened by them. I continued to say that I had entered the Society of the Divine Word, absolutely not that I had received secret-agent training.
Because of my stubborn attitude, they interrogated me only once every year and a half or so, yet still could not obtain the conclusion they required. Therefore they left me in the prison and no longer concerned themselves with me, considering me a counterrevolutionary element who would never repent.
Thus I squatted in the “small cell” within the prison for eight and a half years (1957–1967).
Not until the late period of the Cultural Revolution, after society had smashed the “public security, procuratorate, and courts,” was a “Military Control Commission” established inside the prison, and the People’s Liberation Army took charge of handling long-pending cases within the prison. Therefore, around May 1967, the Military Control Commission forcibly pronounced judgment. Whether you confessed guilt or not was irrelevant. They sentenced me as an “international spy element” to twenty years’ imprisonment.
Because I had been in prison for such a long time and my body was extremely weak, in need of sunlight and a life of freedom, I swallowed my anger and accepted the judgment document without appeal. In my heart I thought that at the labor-reform camp, in a half-social environment, I might at least enjoy half a free life. After sentencing, I was able to receive news from home and family visits, and I obtained some consolation for my soul.
8. Life in the Labor-Reform Camp:
When I was imprisoned, society was in the period of the three years of natural disasters. The masses had no grain to fill their hunger. One political movement followed another: deep plowing of the land, large-scale steel production, and finally the labor-consuming and wealth-destroying “Great Leap Forward.” Five days a major push, ten days a fierce battle; three days and three nights without leaving one’s post, working without cease.
The year 1958 had originally been a year of favorable weather and abundant harvest, yet Mao Zedong brought great famine upon the people. Grain and vegetables were piled up like mountains, yet in reality no one went to harvest them. Even if individuals harvested them, it was useless, because there was neither firewood nor cooking stoves at home. All iron utensils in the household had been used for steel smelting. A year of harvest was exchanged for a great famine. This was the result of what Mao Zedong advocated: “Struggle with Heaven, struggle with Earth, struggle with man — therein lies infinite joy.”
By 1959, the Communist Party had another new creation: everyone’s living necessities were subject to “rationing.” In relatively prosperous regions, ordinary laboring people were supplied only six liang of grain per day; in other regions they could not even obtain six liang. By the end of the year, some people used tree bark, leaves, and grass roots to satisfy hunger. Such circumstances were commonplace facts in society.
Speaking of life inside the prison, one can well imagine it. At first there were two liang of dried sweet potato and thin porridge with four grains of rice visible; eventually even the two liang of dried sweet potato were unavailable. We ate tree bark, lake weeds, and wild gourds to stave off hunger. In this way, day by day, we endured.
Twenty years of great famine did not damage my body. Twenty years of prison life did not shorten my lifespan. I entered the prison in such a manner, and in such a manner I stepped out of it. During these twenty years I never fell ill, nor did I ever miss a day of labor. The cadres responsible in the prison said: “We have never seen such a prisoner. Is it not strange?”
Now that times have changed, when I look back, I think: it was God who protected me with His almighty arm, so that in the future He might still use me to serve Him. Just as Scripture says, “The Lord has bestowed great grace upon me; how shall I repay Him?”
Imprisoned Again
On December 23, 1979, after completing my sentence, I was released and sent to Xuecheng District of Zaozhuang City for residential surveillance. During this period, I resumed my missionary life. Besides being able to celebrate Mass daily, I baptized children under the age of eighteen and organized the faithful to go on pilgrimage to 佘山朝圣地 in Shanghai.
In particular, after my release from prison, I was destitute and unable to make a living. I entrusted my classmate Father Yuan Yike, who was living in Jurong County, to request from my teacher in Hong Kong, Peng Jiade, several Mass stipends on my behalf. As a result, Peng Jiade sent me 900 yuan by post to sustain my livelihood. After the government discovered this, it regarded it as evidence that I had accepted funds for reactionary activities from abroad. For the above reasons, on June 14, 1982, I was arrested again in Xuecheng and imprisoned. On the basis of the above charges, I was sentenced to twelve years’ imprisonment. Because I refused to accept the judgment and filed an appeal, the sentence was reduced to five years, and I continued serving my term in the 75th Labor-Reform Coal Mine Prison.
Since I was old and physically weak, the government did not allow me to go down into the mine to dig coal, but arranged for me to serve as custodian of farm tools in the labor-reform vegetable garden. In the vegetable garden there was no heavy physical labor. I was able to eat my fill, and there were days of public rest. Each day I only sunbathed in the courtyard and breathed fresh air. I no longer needed to report to relieve myself. It could be considered a half-free society. Only the guard line enclosed me; stepping beyond it meant no freedom. Once each month I had an opportunity to meet family members, who could bring clothing and food. Such great favor was truly God’s care and concern. I sincerely thank the Lord’s grace and shall never forget it in my lifetime.
In prison I abided by discipline and the law. I neither rendered meritorious service nor incurred additional punishment. After my term expired, I was released and sent back to my native place, still wearing the “hat” of supervision for two years to observe future conduct. During my imprisonment all my belongings were sold off by others, and I was left utterly destitute. I prepared at home to conduct small trade in tobacco, alcohol, sugar, and tea to maintain my livelihood. But at that time (September 1987), Bishop Zong Huaide of Jinan heard about my situation and immediately asked me to go to the Jinan seminary to teach.
After I arrived in Jinan, I still did not have freedom. I was under government surveillance and was even unable to speak freely with the seminarians. Two years later, I was able to converse closely with them and help them advance greatly in their spiritual life. Besides teaching Scripture and spiritual theology, I encouraged some seminarians to strive to enter religious congregations in order to elevate their personal spiritual life. Under my initiative, more than a dozen seminarians joined the Chinese Society of the Divine Word at the seminary. After the government discovered this, it regarded me as developing a reactionary organization and ordered me to leave the seminary and go to Litang in Jining to serve as parish priest.
Reflections After Release from Prison
1. The Prison Was My Haven
Whenever people mention prison, they feel fear and trembling. For me, who spent many years behind bars, the mere mention of the cell still leaves lingering fear. Twenty-five years behind iron windows make anyone feel alarmed at the slightest stir. For me in the twilight of life, in terms of mood and feeling, there are certainly many things not to one’s liking.
But now, as a flickering candle in the wind, after the passage of time, my views and perspectives on the past have greatly changed. Formerly in prison I regarded hunger and lack of freedom as immense suffering. Now, when I reflect upon it, that was precisely the ironclad proof of God’s love for me. As one sentenced under the charge of “international spy element,” had I still been living in society during the Cultural Revolution, with the Red Guards and various rebel heroes of that time, people like me would long since have been consigned to the netherworld. Even if one had extraordinary abilities, one would already have perished. But God let me enter prison, as though using an umbrella of protection to shield me.
In prison I could pray quietly and pass peacefully through those troubled years. “Those who had accounts to settle did not come to settle them; those who were owed money did not come to collect.” While the Cultural Revolution raged turbulently in society, within the prison I could live my days in peace. If this is not God’s great grace, what is it? Reflecting on all this makes me bow down in profound gratitude.
2. The Prison Was a Great Hospital for Healing the Soul
God created man and granted each person freedom. Everyone can choose good and avoid evil, and can also commit sin and do evil. This is the greatest favor God has bestowed upon each person. At the same time, it is also the standard by which each will be rewarded or punished in the future.
Reflecting on myself after ordination, when I was only thirty-seven or thirty-eight years old, in the prime of life and full of vigor, had it not been for God’s grace and the compulsory environment of prison, I do not know how many sins and faults I might have committed. I thank God for His great grace in placing me outside the sinful world, enabling me to cultivate virtue in peace and to spend an unforgettable, lifelong, special spiritual retreat imposed by circumstances. It is a precious treasure worth more than gold, like an injection strengthening the heart, preventing many illnesses.
3. My View of External Things
All the riches, power, and status of the world, as Scripture says, are “vanity of vanities; all is vanity” (Sirach 1:2). They are like smoke that quickly passes away. If a person abandons God and becomes intoxicated with pursuing these vain things, it is truly like a madman chasing the wind and grasping at shadows, wasting effort in vain, and in the end obtaining nothing but an empty dream.
I was born into this world naked and empty-handed; when I lie in the coffin, I shall depart empty-handed as well. What I can bring with me is only the merits and faults of my life.
4. Christ Is the Supreme Treasure of My Life
Jesus Christ, who became man while remaining God, through the sacrament of rebirth in Baptism, made me an adopted son of the Heavenly Father and His brother. Through His Holy Spirit He enables me to call God “Abba, Father” (Galatians 4:6). He instituted the Eucharist, allowing me to take His Body and Blood as spiritual nourishment, to be united with His life in the most intimate union.
On the cross Christ allowed His side to be pierced by a lance, opening His Sacred Heart, which became for me an inexhaustible source and treasury of grace. In this ever-changing world, if in the end I can obtain Jesus Christ as my supreme treasure, then my heart is at peace and content, and I seek nothing else.
5. Awakening in the Face of Death
As the saying goes, “Seventy years of life are rare since ancient times.” I have now passed into advanced age. Each day the shadow of death stands before me, beckoning and knocking at every moment. How should I respond? As it is written: “Man is foolish and stubborn, concerned only with the present and not with the future; you should rectify your thoughts, words, and deeds as if today were your last.”
Birth, aging, sickness, and death are the inevitable laws of human life. Where there is birth, there is death. In this world of suffering and hardship, though our sins and defects throughout life are many, if we do not amend and turn toward good, when death arrives, our hearts will naturally be uneasy. But if our conscience is clean and free of guilt, we may calmly accept death’s coming.
For doctrine tells us: death is the punishment we deserve for sin; yet when it comes upon us, God in His mercy, through Christ’s victory over death on the cross, saves us and leads us away from this transient life into the eternal homeland with Christ. Therefore I clearly recognize that death is the gateway leading into eternal life. Without passing through this threshold of death, no one can absolutely attain eternal life. Thus death is a transformation of life, absolutely not its destruction. Only by living well can one die well; this is a fixed and unquestionable truth.
Therefore, each night before I sleep, I sincerely repent of the sins of my lifetime, firmly resolve to abandon evil and pursue good, and pray that the merciful Heavenly Father forgive all my sins, so that I may obtain lasting peace of soul.
Insights from Evangelization Life Since 1996
Priest, who are you? What is the office you require? The priesthood is a sacred order, a grace freely bestowed by God. This has its foundation in Scripture. It is given to those who are chosen and consecrated so that they may serve at God’s altar and, in God’s stead, care for humanity.
From the perspective of society, is the priesthood a profession? Saint Gregory the Great said: “Pastoral work is the most sacred of tasks.” If one understands its meaning, the priesthood may be called the most noble of professions. Yet if one looks for it among the recognized professions of society—such as doctors, lawyers, architects—one may not find it listed. In this sense, the priesthood is a profession, and yet it is not a profession.
From the standpoint of Catholic doctrine, in Scripture and Tradition there are many definitions of the priest, yet none is completely exhaustive. Today it can be said that the greatest crisis of the priesthood is not that of authority, nor of celibate consecration, but the crisis of priestly identity.
Then who is the priest? Why has there not yet been a concrete conclusion? Because the priest is a mystery—like an unsolved mathematical problem, an eternal paradox. Only upon reaching heaven will it be fully understood. Saint John Vianney, parish priest of Ars in France and patron saint of all parish priests, gave a relatively simple yet profound explanation. He said: “The priest is one who represents God and possesses God’s authority. When the priest absolves sinners, he does not say, ‘God forgives you your sins,’ but directly says, ‘I absolve you of your sins.’ When consecrating the Body and Blood, he says only, ‘This is my Body; this is my Blood.’” How noble the priest is. The sacred character of the priest can be fully understood only in heaven. Saint Therese of Lisieux said: “If I were to meet a priest and an angel at the same time, I would first salute the priest, for the priest represents God; the angel is only God’s attendant.”
I say the priest is a mystery and also an eternal paradox. This paradox may be divided into the paradox of being and the paradox of action. First, the paradox of being: the priest senses within his very being a great contradiction, for he is a most small and weak man, yet at the same time he receives an office between God and humanity. As Saint Paul the Apostle said, “a treasure in a fragile earthen vessel.” Because he belongs to God and also to humanity, the priest must be faithful to God and faithful to man. How to reconcile these two demands is truly not simple.
The priest himself knows he is weak and frail. In his hands there are no great financial resources nor worldly power. Although in spiritual authority he possesses great power, this power arises precisely from his complete self-renunciation. He bears Christ’s cross, as Saint Paul said, “When I am weak, then I am strong.” Or rather, my strength lies within the cross of Christ.
After His Resurrection, on the road to Emmaus, Jesus said to the two disciples, “Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into His glory?” “The priest is another Christ”—this was said by Pope Pius XII. Therefore the priest must walk the same path as the Most Holy Master. The priest ought to carry his own cross, just as others must carry the crosses of their brothers and sisters. Following the example of the Most Holy Priest Jesus, the priest must place upon his shoulders all the same difficulties. This is the meaning of the phrase: “the priest is both priest and victim.”
The priest is both sacrificer and sacrifice. He is a sign of contradiction; wherever there is contradiction, there are difficulties. This also echoes what the mother of Saint John Bosco said when her son celebrated his first Mass: “My son, when you begin to say Mass, you begin to suffer.”
The difficulties mentioned above are not failures or weaknesses; they are the priest’s strength. The enemies of the Church wish to destroy her. In their hands they have much power and armies. Yet two thousand years have passed, and they have still been unable to suppress the priesthood.
I have been a priest for more than sixty years. What has most moved me is God; what has most fascinated me is man. God moves me not because of His omnipotence or boundless power, but because of His capacity to embrace all. The good and the wicked alike are His children; He loves and blesses them all. When the righteous suffer, He grieves; when the wicked succeed, He suffers more than you and I. He never forces the immature to reform overnight, yet He worries and sighs anxiously for children whose growth in wisdom is slow—like an anxious mother standing at a bus stop waiting for the late return of an uncomprehending yet self-assured child. He loves every one of His creations and stands ready, whenever a child stretches out a hand or calls His name, to rush forward like a merciful father embracing the prodigal son. Yet because He has promised to respect each person’s freedom to choose the path home, He restrains Himself. To know and experience such a God is my greatest blessing. Though there remain many aspects of His works I do not understand, and I do not intend to understand them fully, even the little that I know of Him suffices for me to follow Him without regret, to love Him, and to give my life for Him.
What fascinates me, however, is man. Man is an extremely complex being, a mixture of two extremes. When good, he enchants the heart, radiating the light of God’s image; at times he is so evil as to make one tremble, revealing faintly the shadow of the devil. He is intelligent, fashioning the entrusted world with astonishing artistry; he is foolish to the point of nausea. In generosity he may sacrifice his life for righteousness; yet he may selfishly betray a friend or even take the last coins from a beggar’s bowl.
If one opens the history of humanity and of the Church, no one has been smaller, more despised, or more protested against than the priest. Yet before the priest, people must show reverence and respect. From the past to the present, and from now until the end of the world, the priest will certainly be both the most welcomed and the most misunderstood and resented figure. The world-renowned writer Georges Bernanos once pessimistically said: “The priest is the one who must be hated.” Thus the enemies of the priest hate him, and they also hate the children of the Church.
To be a priest is not difficult; but to live fully according to the complete meaning of the priesthood is truly not simple. For the priest is not to be served by others, but to serve others. He must give to others without demanding return. Blessed Antoine Chevrier once said: “The priest is one who is eaten by others.”
In exercising his ministry, the priest must zealously enter society, yet detach himself from worldliness. He must have compassion for all and love others, yet not belong exclusively to any one person. His heart must be open to all, yet closed in exclusivity toward any individual. Society has many classes; he is a friend to all—men and women, young and old, the powerful and the ordinary, the rich and the poor. All may demand his service. Yet he is also the loneliest in the world—lonely in his work, lonely in difficulties, especially in old age. This destiny of loneliness will not depart from any priest.
Therefore a French priest named Michel Quoist composed a famous prayer describing the spirit of the priest, called “The Sunday Evening Prayer of the Priest.” He wrote: “God, it is very difficult for me. I must love all, yet not love only one. God, it is very difficult for me. I find affection in the hearts of others, yet must give it entirely to You. God, it is very difficult for me. I must give all that I have to all people, ‘to become all things to all,’ keeping nothing for myself. God, it is very difficult for me. I must live among many as one of them, yet remain different from them. God, it is very difficult for me. I must lead others, yet not be led by their interests. God, it is very difficult for me. I must protect the weak and lonely, yet not rely on wealth or power. God, here is my body, my heart. Grant me purity of heart. Let me embrace the world in my heart, yet let none of it become mine. Grant that I may be the place where all meet You and find rest. Whomever I encounter, I must bring him to You, for You are the Good Shepherd, the Way, the Truth, and the Life.”
Every priest, from the first time he ascends the altar, must persevere until the final moment. He is always a sign of contradiction, like the Most Holy Master Jesus: on the one hand the light of the children of light, on the other the shadow of the children of darkness.
Now we speak of the paradox of action. Because the priest’s person is consecrated, in his humanity—mind and temperament—he must throughout his life restrain his own disposition in order to harmonize responsibilities and actions.
His conduct must be balanced, always standing in the center, neither rising too high nor falling too low. If his personality is constantly cheerful, the faithful may consider him frivolous. If he keeps a tense face daily, people will say he is aloof, bad-tempered, or proud.
If he is good to everyone without dignity, he will be criticized as having questionable conduct. If he dresses properly, keeps himself well groomed, and seldom eats or drinks socially with others, the faithful may say he merely loves to show himself off, as if he were different. If he frequently cares for the poor, people will call him left-leaning, inclined toward the proletariat. If he often associates with the wealthy, people will accuse him of despising the poor. If he shows more concern for the elderly, people will call him old-fashioned; if he pays more attention to the young, they will call him trendy or progressive. If he is closer to women, gossip will arise. If he preaches briefly, people will say he is lazy and unprepared; if he preaches too long, they will say he is drunk and tedious, and the faithful will go outside to smoke.
Thus to be a priest is truly not simple; it is impossible to satisfy everyone.
At times the priest does not know how to resolve problems. Jesus taught: “Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). The priest must possess the wisdom of King Solomon—sometimes firm, sometimes gentle—always maintaining balance. For a saying of the Church holds: “Virtue lies in the mean.” Therefore, in whatever contradictory difficulties he faces, the priest must overcome them in order to become a sign of salvation for all.
The above are the small conclusions I have drawn through meditation on the life of the priesthood.
Supplementary Materials
Answers to Questions from Visitors:
Question: How did you get through your 25 years behind iron bars? What were you thinking at the time?
Answer:
When I first entered prison, I thought to myself: my return to the country was because the Superior General in Rome did not understand the real situation on the mainland. Based on the report of the visitor at that time, Fr. Fu Shi, that foreigners could not gain a foothold in China and only Chinese could preach the Gospel, the Superior General therefore decided that the three of us should immediately return to the country to do missionary work.
However, according to the opinion of the Shandong Provincial Superior, Fr. Ni Jiale P. Eisl, I should first have gone to Rome to study at the Gregorian University for a few years. At that time I thought this would be more beneficial to me, so an intense ideological struggle arose within me. But relying on God’s assistance, I was able to remain faithful in obedience and return to the country. Yet at that time I believed, just as Sacred Scripture says, “I am sending you like lambs into the midst of wolves” (Luke 10:3). At that time I believed that this return to the country was to go and die, and for this reason I returned to my homeland with a spirit ready for death.
But ten years later, now that I am confined in prison and have ample time to pray, every day I not only recite three rosaries, but sometimes seven or eight. Through the care of the merciful Holy Mother, and through personal reflection on all my past sins, my mind gradually became clear and my heart attained peace. With my mouth I continually recited this verse: “Because of my sins this disaster has come upon me.” Every day I used this short ejaculation to free myself from all the bitterness and sorrow in my heart, and to endure peacefully the rude pressure, hardships, as well as the hunger and the pain of shackles imposed on me by the prison guards. This gradually made me realize that the arrangement of the Superior General in sending me back to the country was truly God’s infinitely wise plan.
Especially after I was released from prison and saw the various disorders and lawlessness in the world, I truly came to understand even more clearly that it was because God loved me that He used the hardships of prison to test me, a person who repeatedly refused correction. It was as if God used an “umbrella of protection” (25 years of prison life) to protect me. During the Cultural Revolution, someone like me, labeled a counterrevolutionary and bearing the title of “international spy,” if left in society, would have long ago been chopped into pieces by countless Red Guards and rebels, losing my life. But the merciful Heavenly Father, with His almighty hands, held me tightly in His embrace, shielding me from all external assaults, allowing me to pass safely through this shocking catastrophe. This was truly God’s great grace toward me. Therefore I cast aside the evil thought that returning to the country was to go and die, and truly came to understand that God, with His almighty arm, created favorable opportunities for me to vigorously proclaim the power of the Gospel of Christ, bringing about a 180-degree transformation in me, immediately turning my former fear and resentment into gratitude and thanksgiving to the Lord. For this reason, in prison I was able privately and softly to sing the hymn of praise, the Magnificat (Luke 1:46–55), and the Te Deum Laudamus. I was able to sing these two sacred hymns from beginning to end, to express my personal gratitude and homesickness.
Question: During your 25 years of imprisonment, you must have endured many hardships and difficulties. At times when you were shackled and deeply wronged, did you ever complain against Heaven and blame others, or harbor resentment toward God?
Answer:
To speak honestly, in my most difficult and painful times, I often used my motto, “Because of my sins this disaster has come upon me,” to strengthen my resolve to repent and renew myself. This remained in my mind at every moment. Therefore, with this short ejaculation I was able to overcome all inhumane treatment and punishments. In addition, deep within my heart there was also the “Little Way of Spiritual Childhood” of Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus guiding me, which became a powerful weapon enabling me to pass through every difficulty. That is, relying on the guidance of Saint Thérèse’s “Little Way,” I regarded myself as a small ball in the hands of the Child Jesus (a plaything). When Jesus delighted in it, He would happily hold it, pat it, and play with it; sometimes He would hold it in His arms and kiss it, and this little ball would be very happy in its heart. But even if the Child Jesus were unhappy or angry, and kicked this little ball into a corner and ignored it, this little ball would still be very happy, because it was a plaything loved by the Child Jesus. This is the spiritual secret of Thérèse.
In prison I also learned to imitate the example of Saint Thérèse. I considered that although I suffered all kinds of torments in prison, I was still the beloved possession of the Child Jesus. Even if for the time being He kicked me into prison and ignored me, I was still happy, because I was a beloved plaything of the Child Jesus. One day He would still pick me up and play with me again. Therefore in prison, no matter what suffering I endured, I had my major premise before me — “Because of my sins…” — and together with the spiritual guidance of Thérèse, I was able willingly and gladly to endure all kinds of hardships and difficulties. Though bitter, they also felt sweet, for the Lord was with me.
At the same time, I recalled the exhortation of Saint Paul: “But we hold this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing power may be of God and not from us. We are afflicted in every way, but not constrained; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed…” (2 Corinthians 4:7–12+).
Although the People’s Government placed upon my head the unfounded charge of “international espionage,” the 25 years of imprisonment not only did not destroy my fighting spirit for evangelization, nor did it harm a single hair on my head, but instead made me healthy and full of vigor after my release from prison, enabling me to devote the final decades of my life to glorifying the Lord and saving souls. This truly served to manifest God’s great power, causing my humble and weak heart to show absolute gratitude and reliance toward the great love of Almighty God. May God be praised forever.
Question: During your time teaching at the Jinan seminary, how many religious did you help to form?
Answer:
I taught in the seminary for nine and a half years, from 1987 to 1996. In addition to teaching Sacred Scripture and Church History, I also served for many years as their spiritual director. In order to raise the quality of their spiritual life, I not only explained the lofty dignity and authority of the priesthood, but also guided them in the shortcuts and methods of walking the path of sanctity, just as Christ said, “You lack one thing: sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me” (Luke 18:18–20). God calls us to become holy and virtuous; this is not an illusory legend, nor is it in some distant heaven. The saints of every age lived among us; like every person they had the “seven emotions and six desires,” endured various hardships and setbacks, and passed through many temptations and trials. Yet they willingly followed the suffering Christ, and by God’s infinite help were able to overcome all evil spirits and demons, and finally attain the blessed homeland of eternity. As Saint Augustine said, “They can do it; why can we not?”
The above are the small deeds I have done for the congregation, as an expression of gratitude, praying that the Lord may see and judge all things.
No. 25, Heyanmen Church, Jining
October 13, 2012
P. Joseph Guofude, S.V.D.
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